I feel incredibly guilty about not getting any new posts lately to my blog. As with so many things I try, I have these amazing intentions and great ideas and never seem to follow through. I guess it's the guilt and that procrastinating voice in my head that keeps telling me "you'll get to it later, but first you have to....". I know I can't keep behaving like this.
It's become the same way with my weight loss goals. I have a bad day and try to not beat up about it. Inevitably, I do and the little voice in my head starts filling me with self-doubt. Can I really lose the weight, and get to a fitness level and healthy lifestyle that I envision?
This last week at our meeting we discussed successful members and overcoming all the negative self-talk that we put ourselves through in our journey. I heard some really great ideas on how to be successful. The one that I remember the most is the swapping of food trackers with a friend. Janet and I talked and agreed that we would write down everything and trade next week. OUCH.
You would think that with this pressure, I would be really careful of what I put in my mouth right? But I have to confess that these last few weeks, except for one week, I've pretty much carried this attitude of "I don't care". I don' t know why I'm feeling this way, and when I start to realize I'm thinking it... it's like I don't have the discipline in me to say "no". So what happens with this? I end up gaining weight. IT IS is a terrible cycle.
After our meeting Thursday night, I admitted to something that I now know I'm not the only one guilty of. Sometimes, when my daughter hasn't finished a meal... or if I sit at the table after I'm done eating... if I sit there long enough, I inevitably start snacking on more food. Or worse yet, I eat the leftovers off of Mariel's plate. I feel like a vaccuum cleaner and could just eat everything in sight!
So this week I'm going to control my "extras" and not eat the scraps and leftovers. I realized that after I'm done with my meal, I need to get up from the table. If my daughter is still eating, then I can just stay in the kitchen with her and clean up dishes... or make notes in my food journal... or stand at the counter and read a paper. Anything to get me away from the temptation. The next challenge, is what to do if Mariel doesn't eat all of her food?... and it's something that is really good or I'm craving? I've learned I need to just accept that food will get thrown away and stop thinking of it as "wasting food". I grew up with that age old mentality that a clean plate is a good plate. NO MORE.
Wish me luck this week. I think for the next few weeks I'm going to list 3 things to work on. I'll report back and let you know how that fares.
1. No snacking off of others plates, instead just accept that the food is ok to either save for later (leftovers) or just throw it away. Step away from the table, and find something else to do or leave the kitchen altogether for awhile and come back after I'm feeling full / satisfied, and do the dishes, etc.
2. Get some form of exercise in for at least 30 minutes each day. I'm always looking for something fun and new. If anyone has any ideas, PLEASE tell me. Right now, I do bellydancing on Tuesday evenings. I'm looking for one more class to enroll in... the rest of my days I can walk on my treadmill, or do some Pilates, or go for a bike ride at my neighbors?
3. Turn off the TV after 10:00. I've been staying up way too late at night and then feeling really exhausted in the mornings... I get up late, don't get in my walk before Mariel wakes up, and end up starting my day way too late. before I know it, it's 8:00 at night and I don't know where my day went. I'm working on filling a calendar for March of different things to do, with my family and just by myself. .. again if anyone has any cool ideas for fun (free) activities around town... shoot me a note!
Alright, it's late and I've laid out a good plan for the next week.
Side note, my grandpa had open heart surgery. He had some complications and ended up having to have his gall bladder removed laproscopically. Now they are having a hard time trying to figure out what is causing a blockage in his bile duct? He has a CT scan tomorrow and I'm fearing cancer or something horrible. Thankfully, his heart is fine but now he's back in the hospital. I live 2000 miles from my family so I'm feeling pretty helpless right now. I'm not a religious person, but man if there's a word for praying, except not to a god, then that's what I'm doing right now. I'm not ready to lose him yet.
More motivation for me and my family to take better care of ourselves so that we don't end up in this situation later in our lives.
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